2010.10.05 Text 1 note

  1. Hey, I’m learning or whatever

      In high school, teachers would often ask for a show of hands, wondering, “Did anyone actually study?”

      If I ever raised raised up my own hand at the question, it was probably a lie. I skated through those four years without really making too much effort. The things I felt passionately about came easily. Others I got through because I had much more intelligent friends who were willing to help me. The rest was usually easy enough to breeze through with what some our teachers affectionately referred to as “bullshit”. At the time I felt like I was being stretched really thin, but that too was mostly bullshit.

      My first college midterm is tomorrow, and I’m actually making a legitimate effort studying for it. I’m glad the mentality I developed in high school didn’t really pass over into college, because I’m sure it would have been a massive smack to my ego once I realized that I wasn’t so smooth as I assumed.

      I’m glad I’m pushing myself, without my friends to compete with on tests, or close teachers to get on my case. In hindsight I see that high school was pretty easy mostly as a result of those people around me.

      But now it’s the hard part, and I’m aware of it—and that is good.

      Now, off to ponder Greek theatre.